Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Shit List: Steve Miller Needs To Stop Touring

Ian Anderson, of Jethro Tull fame, stopped making music publicly and went back to Scotland to build a salmon farm. Why did he do this? He was making great music. There are so many others who should have quit and let him continue on his pixie flute fluttering way.

Steve Miller Band is a band that I'm happy to say I've been able to avoid listening to over the course of my life. There's a few "classic rock" songs that I actually do have an affinity for. However, this blog series is not about those songs. This series is about the ones that were ruined by overuse, not unlike a stock Bill O'Reilly insult. But there is one tune of Mr. Miller's that, no matter how studious you may be, you are just going to be contaminated by... Over, and over, and over, and over again until your brain melts with white rage. You can only hope that when this happens, you're not on the freeway, fumbling to access the glock you have stored in your glove box, to aim at the bald man with a ponytail in the convertible Chrysler LeBaron one lane over who's perpetually on Spring Vacation 1973.

Number 4:

"The Joker" - Steve Miller Band

He Looks Like Steve Martin

The ingenius guitar cat-call at the suggestion that the "narrator" of this epic piece of pop architecture might be named, audaciously, Maurice, is enough for me. Every time I hear this iconic signature I reach for my gun. (I don't own a gun yet. I'm waiting until only reasonable, sane people like myself can get them.) It's instinctual. It reminds me of when my daughter was a baby, and she would cry. Babies' cries are connected genetically to that part of the brain that demands violent action immediately, from the parent in earshot. Reflexively, the parent reaches for the bottle or food source without regard to any potential obstacles, so desperate to stop the noise that cuts to the core of humanity, and results in lamps and jars of liquid being knocked over and broken or spilled. That's what happens to me when I hear, "...Some people call me Maurice - woot woot...". But with a gun. I'm looking for my gun instead of a bottle of milk.

Here, listen to it.

They won't let you listen to it here because it's owned by EMI. You have to go to Youtube. It must be so valuable a feed that you can only go to a monetized site to enjoy it commercials free

Here it is on Amazon in case you want to BUY the song. 1 person "liked" it.

zachary rouse blogs at this blog, and at his website, Zachary Rouse

1 comment:

  1. I just had abdominal surgery. It hurts to laugh right now. And this made me absolutely CRACK UP! Damn you! I hope I didn't tear my stitches!